About a week ago my wife of 22 years passed away suddenly and left me in charge of our 16 year old son who has downs syndrome and whole host of other diseases and disorders. Now that I have cashed the life insurance policies I have enough money to retire and live off of and I no longer need the small amount of that is provided by the state for my son’s care. My girlfriend also stated that she does not want to take care of Wally and would rather enjoy my recent windfall.
I really love Wally but I don’t think I am cut out for the whole father thing (I wanted an abortion when we found out he had Downs in the womb…..don’t judge….9 out of 10 people who find out do abort). Thanks for help with this difficult decision.
Is is Possible to Give a 16 Year Old Up for Adoption?
Mon, Nov 23, 2009
39 Responses to “Is is Possible to Give a 16 Year Old Up for Adoption?”
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November 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
your son needs you though I mean after having him 16 years with his disability I think it would be a good thing for you to reconsider good luck and sorry about your wife
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Troll. Go hide under a bridge.
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
im not sure, but you can try, is there any family?
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I really hope this isn’t a serious question.
Because if it is, you are a digusting excuse for a father and a human being. This boy is your SON, and he LOVES you – he didn’t ask to be born! Get your s**t together and be a man and a father.
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Ask baby Jesus. He seems to have all the answers.
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Are you for real? If so, it is a very sad situation, but I must say you are being very selfish.
I won’t even go into the judging thing for wanting to abort your baby because he had downs, but I will be judgmental about you wanting to “enjoy the windfall” with your girlfriend if your wife has only been dead a week. Either your mourning period was extremely short, or you had a chick on the side already.
No matter how you slice it or how difficult your situation, that’s just wrong.
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
you can but u need to think bout it first and make sure this is ur descion and not ur gfs ok? this boy needs u now more than ever he may have DS but he knows his mom is never coming back and would u wanna give up the only livign memory u have of her away?
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Wow… I’m thinking that you and your girlfriend both need some serious counseling… To enjoy your recent “windfall” that you got strictly due to your wifes death… Whom you claim RECENTLY (a week ago) DIED… which means that you were either cheating, sleeping around, seperated already, or just move really quick.
I’d personally advise you to call DSS, CPS, DFACS, or whatever it’s called in your state and ask them for respite care while you get the help you need… If you’re looking for an “easy way out” of caring for your son and simply want to enjoy the wealth you got from him mothers death while tossing him aside, I really wonder what you or the girlfriend may do in order to make sure you don’t have to deal with the problem.
He’d be better off in foster home or assisted living where people cared enough about him to make sure he got the help/training/skills he needs to live in the world and make it, then by living with someone who thinks he’s a burden to their new found wealth.
This simply disgusts me, and I really hope for all involved that you’re nothing more than a troll/teen with no time on their hands simply looking for a rise out of people.
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Your wife passed away a week ago and you already have a girlfriend serious enough that you’ll put her wants over your son’s needs? It sounds like you’re the one constant your son has left in his life, man up and think of him instead of yourself. You helped make him, now it’s your job to take care of him.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:36 am
your wife died a week ago and you’ve got a girlfriend already? maybe i misunderstood something but that sounds very wrong. i don’t think thats your girlfriend should be making decisions for you at all especially if your a grown man and making you choose between her and your own skin & blood. i don’t know; i just had my son two months ago and i know if anything happened to him i’d never give him up; i couldn’t even imagine me going down the road 16 years later and deciding i wanted to give up my child just because i randomly got money. i’m sure thats not what your wife would want either and even though he does have d.s he still has feelings & stresses too; imagine the stress he could be going through just to losing his mother– the one and only thing i’m sure that meant to him– how great would that feel to know your own father doesn’t want you? i definately would stick it out and tell the girlfriend to suck it up.
those with disadvantages and special needs are humans too and deserve the same treatment as everyone else.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:30 am
Sorry about your wife, but just because she is gone does NOT mean you can just write off being a father.
Your Girlfriend in extremely insensitive if she just expects you to give up your son after 16 years. Please don’t let her influence your decision, for all you know she could be interested in more than your time and love (”and would rather enjoy my recent windfall. ” (That right there seems like she wants your money, but not the territory that comes along with it… territory being your son))
You have a son that is YOUR responsibility at least until he is 18. Then it is STILL your responsibility to make sure he has a place to live whether it be a home for disabled people, or a private home with a nurse.
Good luck, and remember your son needs your support and love.
November 24th, 2009 at 2:29 am
You can’t. It would be terrible, his mother just passed. And if you wife died a week ago, how do you already have a girlfriend?
When a child comes into the world, no matter if it has down syndrome or one of the lucky ones, you have the job to look after it. I don’t want to be rude, but you’re only thinking of yourself, retiring with your girlfriend, driving nice cars, but always in the back of your head you’ll feel that you did something very wrong.If you wouldn’t the hell are you. You shoudn’t even be on this bloody earth.!
November 24th, 2009 at 3:21 am
Your wife died a WEEK ago.
And your GIRLFRIEND doesn’t want to take care of him.
Wow. That’s… really pathetic. If you’re not a troll, then maybe you SHOULD give Wally to a family member who actually loves him… he’d be far better off with them then you… someone who obviously has the emotional capacity of supermarket produce.
November 24th, 2009 at 3:31 am
How bad is he?
I mean he has down but how bad, is it possible for him to function in society?
I sense you have alot of guilt, and probably alot of sorrow from the passing of your wife.
I think you should use the money to send him to a nice place where he`ll be taken care of, not a mental institution but something more like a retirement community for people with his condition.
You have to understand that not alot of people will line up to take in a 16 year-old mentally disabled boy with a rich father who doesn`t want to or isn`t able to care for him.
But it has to be your responsibility to take care of him one way or another.
November 24th, 2009 at 4:13 am
You are a mean jerk. How can you give up your child? Your wife passed away a week ago and you have a girlfriend already? Or did you have her before your wife’s passing? You want to give up the only part of her left and your own flesh and blood because he has disabilities and you would do what your girlfriend says. And you wanting the money. What kind of parent are you? You obviously don’t love your son.
November 24th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Wow… So your basiclly saying screw the kid, you just wanna life your life off your wife policy. And you think anyone will not think your a jerk. I hope Wally kicks your butt.
November 24th, 2009 at 5:56 am
Yes, please give him up. He sounds like a child who is in need of special love and care and it sounds to me that all you possess is self love. You are willing to give up your son for your girlfriend cause you got some money? You need to get rid of her and focus on your responsibilities to your son!
November 24th, 2009 at 6:46 am
No need to address the thought of passing judgment over a previous decision to abort or not, since, that issue is now rendered nugatory.
Frankly sir, this entire ‘question is highly suspect. However, we are not here to judge.
Have you contacted even one adoption professional or a county or state authority to learn what roads may be open to you. Obviously you are not the one to care for your son. Sad, but taking this at face value, then certainly you must begin the process of inquiring through child welfare the answers you seek.
Caring for anyone is no easy job, caring for those with special needs even more difficult. Having done this, I sympathize with your plight…
Please, do not delay, for his sake and yours. Talk with his teachers, or a minister or adoption agency in your area to gain facts..You say you love Wally, we must trust this as true. Perhaps you care so much that you now realize you are not equipped to care for all of his needs-this therefore is your way of reaching out for help— Good luck to you and Wally!
November 24th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Oh you are so clever and cute.
You should go on Leno with Surfnerd, the two of you would make a great comedic pair.
November 24th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Did your town just run out of beer?
How bored you must be.
November 24th, 2009 at 7:57 am
Hang on. Your wife of 22 years past away a week ago and you already have a girlfriend who you are allowing to assist in family decisions? Sorry but WTF? You feel burdened by your son and his needs and would rather live a jet set lifestyle financed by your wifes death? Again WTF?
Let me put this as gently as I can, if I don’t I might tear you a new one. My mom died when I was 14, my dad promptly moved us in with his new b*tch and spent my portion of the inheritance, was to be used for college, on a house for him and his wh*re. Within two years I was thrown out on my 17 year old a$$ to fend for myself. YOU ARE MY FATHER! If you didn’t want to parent a special needs child you should have tucked your tail between your legs and run like the dog you are years ago.
As it stands I suggest you look into an assisted living facility for your son where his needs will be met, as you obviously aren’t capable of meeting them. Find the best on money can buy and pay the bill every month, just as his mother would want, make sure you remain a constant figure in his life and ditch your money grubbing, gold digging skank.
November 24th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Omg your wife was 22 and he 16 when did she have him at age 7 WOW!!! well first of all your such a a*s h*e how can you ask such a question about your own freshen blood even if he is a sick lil kid that is not a way for you to treat him!!!! and especially because your new gurlfriend asked your to do it i hope your rote in hell!!!!!
I cant wait untill that new gurlfriend of yours jus uses you for your money you sick loser!!!!!
and how can you have a gurlfriend right after your gurlfriend died a week ago k LOSER YOUR SUCH A PEICE OF SH*T IF YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!!
November 24th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Um yup okay TROLL
November 24th, 2009 at 9:49 am
You may sound like a cold hearted S.O.B, but at least you asked for advice before doing anything. If you really don’t want the responsiblility of your son, call your local Cabinet for Families and Children. They will help find a loving home for your son. I recently adopted a 16 year old who has severe emotional traumas. It is possible for him to be adopted but it is very unlikely. He will probly age out of the system and be placed in a facility.
November 24th, 2009 at 9:58 am
ur an evil troll
November 24th, 2009 at 10:21 am
The life insurance should be used to support your son. I hope the state sticks it to you. Wally deserves better than you. I hope that if anything ever happens to you, that the little tramp your with takes your money and runs.
November 24th, 2009 at 10:39 am
I am going to say that I am pretty sure that you can. He is not an adult yet, that is why I say this. He could be put into a foster home and if he is not adopted then they will place him with a group home designed to fit his needs. My aunt is mentally retarded and is 40 some years old, she stays at a rest home and is taken very good care of. Just call down town to the social services office and ask what your options are, say that you would just like to relinquish your rights to them in the long run. good luck. and am sorry for all you are going through.
November 24th, 2009 at 11:32 am
You don’t give up a child of 16 years just because your wife has died . What kind of father are you ? And this lady friend, you have where has she been during your marriage of 22 years ? what are you ?
They have places that can help take care of your child.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
If this is for real, KEEP YOUR SON!
He has been yours for 16 years. That is longer than your girlfriend (remember: Blood is thicker than water) It’s going to be hard on your to take care of him, but it is NOT fair that he has lost his mother to the angel of death and now his father due to adopption. No one said parenting was easy, but if you love him even a little bit, you will keep him.
I applaud you for what you have done so far, and encourage you to keep it up. You decided to be that 10% to keep the baby, now is the time to prove it.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
ur messed up.
ur really messed up.
uv had him for 16 years….
November 24th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Please tell me you’re joking? He needs his father not some replacement. He needs people HE atucally KNOWS! He’s your son! He Needs His Papa! If you give him up you might as well say that you hate him! you created him and you should take care of him, Regradless of what you think You ARE a Father! Get your act together and start being one and don’t let some random couple take care of someone with a disablity. They only want their mother and fathers! He’s apart of you you can’t just abandon him! he never asked for it! as for the part of is it possible, yes because he isn’t of age yet.
November 24th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Ok, I must get this straight. Your wife just died a week ago- and you have a girlfriend? May I ask how long that has been going on? None of my business, I guess, however listen to yourself. You cash her insurance policies so quickly that you don’t need to amount you get for your son’s care- but you would even THINK of placing him for adoption? And one of the reasons is your GF does not want to take care of him? Praise God that you did not abort your baby. He is precious- and you are the one that needs help. God, please tell me you this is one nasty joke!
November 24th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
OK first of all you already have a girl friend when your wife just died a week ago. And you are going to let her push your son out so she can have your money. Remember that your son was there first. He should be the most important person in your life now. He doesn’t nor will he ever understand why he is this way but you helped make him so you should take care for him. You are just the type of person that should not have gotten a penis a birth. I have a disabled child and I would never consider giving him up nor would my husband if something happened to one of us. You are a horrible person. I hope if you do this you will be tormented everyday for the rest of your life and I hope that he will get the best parent that will love him and that he will never remember you or what you have done. I bet once your girl friend gets your money she will be gone to and then you will have nothing. Which is what you deserve,
November 24th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I am not judging you, on the fact that you considered abortion when you found out that your son had Downs Syndrome but, it is appalling, what you are considering now.
If you don’t have any family that will care for him, my advice would be to find a GOOD group home for him. Talk to his caseworker, I know you are ready to enjoy your windfall and your girlfriend but please take the time to find a loving home for your son, he deserves it, after all, not only has he lost his mom, he will also be losing his father.
November 24th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
u must b very selfish….!!!
me nd my husband av been tryin 4 a kid 4 6 years…!!!
we adopted instead….!!!!
if i did get pregnant with a downs syndeome kid, i would love it just as much…!!!!
selfish the way that you said the you dont need da care money ny more coz of life insurance….!!!
aaaaahhhh you made me soo angry…!!!!
November 24th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Yea Right….. This is almost like the stupid question last month about please take my 14 year daughter because she is pregnant. I dont believe you and I thank you wrote this stupid question just to stir up alot of people. Hey it worked, if this is real then Rott in HELL!
I say this for one because you want to give away one of your’s and Gods Children because of a Girlfriend. Which is my second point.. Your wife died last week and you have a Girlfriend.. Third you want to enjoy your money… sooooooooo SICK!!!!
November 24th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
You are pathetic!
November 24th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
how do u have the nerve to even think about giving up your 16 year old son just because you have some new girlfriend….btw u say ur wife died a week ago how do u have a girlfriend so qiukly…i bet u were cheatig on your wife way before her death…ur a cold-hearted troll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 24th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
No offense intended but you sir are an unfit father how could you possibly have the nerve to even think of giving up you’re 16 year old special needs son. And by the way if your wife passed a week ago how could you have a girlfriend already. It’s pretty selfish to give up the last memory you have of your wife to a stranger but it would probably be better for Wally anyways, but he needs you more than ever right now I mean he lost his mother.