While it is true that I suggested to have an abortion, I respect her decision to keep it. I do know that I have responsabilities and am not shying away from them. She has constantly insulted me (”u r a f*** a***, good for nothing), made up stories where she has met with prior ex bf to have sex (even if she is pregnant) and the list goes on. I understand I might not have given her the support she expected (crying joyfully) but this is too much. When is enough enough? I feel like she is just throwing things at me to get her way (aka sign my paternity rights away – which is stupid, for nor do I want to avoid them, nor can I legally do so for the baby is not born). I have offered all my support (even paid for doctor’s and insurance), but she just keeps on charging back. I kept quiet, but frankly enough abuse is enough abuse (calls at 3am, 4am). She thinks she can do this on her own, but she has no clue of what the responsability implies. How to reason with her? I am about to drop for good.
9 Responses to “GF is Pregnant of 9 Weeks, Wants Me Out of her And the Baby’s Life for Good.?”
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November 25th, 2009 at 4:06 am
You dont need to put up with that from her! She is being inmature and shouldn’t be.. sounds to me like she is not ready to have a baby, what is she going to do when that baby makes her mad? call them every name in the book and treat them like crap? Not cool, you have rights to that baby if you are in fact the father, I wouldn’t put up with her crap anymore.. that is just bogus.. but if you want to be there for your child you need to let her know that you want a paternity test and you will have rights to that baby if it is yours, you want to hlep her out and be with her, but you can’t take it no more.. Hope i helped a tid bit!
November 25th, 2009 at 4:42 am
First of all, she cannot throw you out of the baby’s life. Believe me, the courts will not let you do that. My suggestion is to talk to a lawyer and find out what you can do. I agree that it seems like she’s just trying to make your life hell so that you go away. Document everything.
BTW, you can’t eliminate your rights even once the baby is born unless the baby is being adopted.
November 25th, 2009 at 5:32 am
This is definitly a little more than simply pergnancy hormones.
When me&my boyfriend found out we were pregnant, the idea of Abortion popped up…but when I said I would not be having one, he was kosher with the situation.
I would drop her, but not the baby. She can legally not take the baby from you unless you agree to have it that way. You’re the babies dad, and you’re important to that baby. It’s great to know you’re going to take responsibility for baby as well…so in my opinion she’s insane&you don’t need her treating you like an inferior, because you’re not at all.
Drop her, keep the baby in your life though.
November 25th, 2009 at 6:02 am
What’s important now is that child that is about to be born. If your GF wants you out of her life, you have to respect her wishes. But that child is yours just as much is it is hers, and she can never take that away from you.
It sounds like she is beyond being reasoned with. I suggest you continue to do what you can to support her, but you have to think about yourself. Prepare for the coming of your child. Get your home ready and get your life ready. It may be a very rocky ride, and it may be a fierce battle, but as long as you make it known to her that your place in that child’s life will not only be as father, but also as Daddy, then you will be ok. She may try to have a custody battle and things like that, which is why you have to make sure your life is in order so that a court has no reason to remove your right to see your own child.
Don’t let her continue to stress you out. Do what you can, and move on because you don’t have time to think about her tantrums anymore, you have to become a parent.
Congrats and good luck!
November 25th, 2009 at 6:07 am
First of all tell her that no judge will let you sign away your rights to the child – oh you can do that but you will still have to pay child support so why would you?
Just stay away for awhile. Don’t call, don’t go over there at all until she calls and talks decently to you. If that never happens make sure to find out when the child is born – then you can get a DNA done and prove your parentage- then she has no choice but to let you see the child. The judge will give you visitation and she can do nothing about it.
And you should do it – even if the idea of being a parent is scary because otherwise she could come back on you in 5 or 10 years and make you pay child support for all those years.
November 25th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Are you dating Britney Spears, by any chance?
You cannot reason with someone who is being emotional. Any attempts to do so will only make matters worse.
Remember the first rule of “holes”: if you find yourself in one, then quit digging. In this case, it sounds like it is time to cut your losses and move on. maybe she will come to reason on her own in six months to a years time after she sees for herself how hard it really is, but you cannot force her to come to reason.
November 25th, 2009 at 6:42 am
On your own consult with a family counselor or a good social worker who may give your a better insight into this problem. You cannot solve this dilemma on your own since your seem to be very young and inexperienced.
Sidney
November 25th, 2009 at 6:57 am
Being responsible for your child is one thing. Taking abuse from her is quite another.
If she wants nothing to do with you, why does she keep “charging back,” and phoning at all hours.
You would do well to have her put her requests of you in writing and send them through the mail. Don’t take her phone calls, put up her abuse, tolerate her accusations or her nonsense. Keep all of her written requests, rants, etc., which may serve you well in the future. In the meantime, steer clear of her.
She sounds like she is consumed with anger and rage, probably at herself. I feel most sorry for the child.
You cannot reason with her. She is beyond reason.
It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing: you’ll great really frustrated and you’ll just annoy the pig.
Take care of you. That’s all that’s within your power.
November 25th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Wow…I’m sorry that’s happening to you…have you considered that she may be scared and doesn’t know how to cope? The pregnancy news is still quite new…perhaps if you are sincere and apologetic about how you reacted to the pregnancy she may consider talking to you..remember your talking to a pregnant woman now…lol..lots of hormones raging….Has she always been verbaly abusive towards you even before the baby? You have every right to see and be a part of YOUR child’s life…even if she doesn’t want anything to do with you..you still have rights as the biological father. However that being said … She’s probably not going to make it easy for you…as long as your mature and responsible and don’t put the child between your arguments you will do fine. I would also ask for a paternity test… you have the right to ask for that if you have any suspicions that the child may not be yours…You don’t want to get attached to a child and pay support for years only to find out that the child wasn’t yours.. by then it’s a little late…:) Good Luck!